i just had an extremely disgusting conversation with leonard.. ended so damn fucking badly.. i mean we didnt quarrel or wat lah.. but i got abit irritated lah.. i think its just his character lah.. but he keeps on assuming things ok!! like he sent me quite a nice email this afternoon.. saying that im a really good fren to him and all.. always make him laugh all that.. then just now he said.. "i think you also dont believe wat i said in the email right.." i mean, excuse me.. what do you think i am.. you think im really evil or bo chap about my friends or wat .. how can you say that.. i mean, if youre gonna think that way, then why do you send me the email in the first place!! do you even mean it or not.. and then cos he sent me this email with some stoopid ghost thing inside lah.. so i didnt open it.. then when he asked me about it, i said i deleted it cos i scared.. then he said.. "wah, so lousy you.. how can.. all my friends must be brave one.. you so scared, how to be my friend.." like hello.. if you've got a criteria for being your friend, then im sorry lah.. you gotta look for someone else then.. if you wanna be my friend then you gotta accept me for who i am man.. you cant expect me to just turn into the kind of person you want me to be.. i try to do everything i can for my friends ok.. i make them laugh.. try to cheer them up.. you know you can always look for me for anything.. but that doesnt mean that i cant be hurt too.. just because im crazy and jump around all the time, doesnt mean that i dont get sad.. i have feelings too you know.. you cant expect me to be bouncing and happy go lucky everytime you see me.. i have bad days too.. i get tired just like you do.. i'll try to help you out as much as i can even though im tired.. but dont take it for granted ok.. just because i dont tell you that youre a good friend to me or thank you for talking to me, doesnt mean that i dont appreciate it or that i dont treat you as my friend.. im not pissed you know.. im just so hurt ok.. if thats the way youre gonna take it, then dont send the email in the first place.. why dont you just assume everything.. just like you always do.. and just because im reacting this way, doesnt mean im petty or angry with you or watever.. some things you can joke about, and some things just stab people right where it hurts.. and the way to resolve this is not by giving some lame excuse to hang up such as you think you need to go sleep.. i already know that you dont feel like sleeping.. not to mention that you told me earlier that you werent sleepy.. faking it doesnt help.. neither does trying to run away.. it doesnt help.. not one bit.. it just makes matters worse.. so just because youve spoken to me for the past few days, it doesnt mean that you know me ok.. i may be a difficult person to understand.. so dont assume you know me.. but that doesnt mean that i dont treat you as a friend either.. the same way as i dont assume i know everything about you and your character.. cos i dont.. like rag would say, "you dont even know me, dont act like you know me"