SO.
have i really changed?
it was SUCH a weird evening that it took me like over an hour to walk home from the bus stop just now. i just sat there for like 2 million years, and i was supposedly thinking, but then i realised that i only started thinking when i started walking back.. which, come to think of it, was ridiculous cos it meant that i wasted so much time just erm.. pretending to think..?
ANYWAY..
i decided that i dont think ive changed. i mean, how i behaved towards you in the past might have been kinda different, but im not in love with you anymore!! this is me! this is the REAL me! im not some sweet, shy, demure girl! i dont think ive ever been! come on! EVERYone knows that! (well at least i think so..) and what kind of a question is "where do you see yourself in 2 years time?" ?!!!! HUH?! i didnt know i was in an interview..!?!!?
im sorry you didnt know that but you cant expect me to feel the same towards you anymore! i sometimes dont even know what im doing! when i think about it, ive been completely stupid! like, how many times does it take for me to SNAP OUT OF IT FOR GOODNESS SAKE!! like after all the rumours, from SO many people.. and even after experiencing it myself too! if someone was behaving like this i would probably think she was really stupid and SERIOUSLY deluded.. like HELLO?!?! wake up your idea?!
and now im gonna confuse myself even more cos i DO still kinda like him, but i also know that its stupid, and that i cant do anything, and that i dont even wanna do anything about it because i know its stupid! but, ARGHHH!!!!!
GOD! this is like a live internal debate happening here.. so crazy. so SO crazy.
IN ANY CASE..
i have no idea what im talking about anymore lah.. i should stop.
i should stop going out with guys.
i should stop being so stupid.
i should stop thinking so much.
i should stop thinking so much about being so stupid.
i should stop rattling on and on and on..!
like i should just STOP EVERYTHING!!!!!
have i really changed?
it was SUCH a weird evening that it took me like over an hour to walk home from the bus stop just now. i just sat there for like 2 million years, and i was supposedly thinking, but then i realised that i only started thinking when i started walking back.. which, come to think of it, was ridiculous cos it meant that i wasted so much time just erm.. pretending to think..?
ANYWAY..
i decided that i dont think ive changed. i mean, how i behaved towards you in the past might have been kinda different, but im not in love with you anymore!! this is me! this is the REAL me! im not some sweet, shy, demure girl! i dont think ive ever been! come on! EVERYone knows that! (well at least i think so..) and what kind of a question is "where do you see yourself in 2 years time?" ?!!!! HUH?! i didnt know i was in an interview..!?!!?
im sorry you didnt know that but you cant expect me to feel the same towards you anymore! i sometimes dont even know what im doing! when i think about it, ive been completely stupid! like, how many times does it take for me to SNAP OUT OF IT FOR GOODNESS SAKE!! like after all the rumours, from SO many people.. and even after experiencing it myself too! if someone was behaving like this i would probably think she was really stupid and SERIOUSLY deluded.. like HELLO?!?! wake up your idea?!
and now im gonna confuse myself even more cos i DO still kinda like him, but i also know that its stupid, and that i cant do anything, and that i dont even wanna do anything about it because i know its stupid! but, ARGHHH!!!!!
GOD! this is like a live internal debate happening here.. so crazy. so SO crazy.
IN ANY CASE..
i have no idea what im talking about anymore lah.. i should stop.
i should stop going out with guys.
i should stop being so stupid.
i should stop thinking so much.
i should stop thinking so much about being so stupid.
i should stop rattling on and on and on..!
like i should just STOP EVERYTHING!!!!!
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