just another night

i was up all of last night.
just couldnt get my mind to 'power down'.

i have given myself a sort of plan.
which kinda seems to be working for now.
its given me a sort of direction
in which i should be thinking.

it helps me to not go crazy,
to keep my mind on track,
to not think until i cry.

of course i still think.
its just that i dont cry.
which is good.
right?

i finally crawl into bed.
but the bed is too big.
even after all the things ive tried to pile in it to sleep with.
i can still feel all that space.

i lie there.
my brain goes into overtime.
i curl up.
the hours pass.


***


i never really knew how to describe what i think about.
they were just random thoughts. about anything and everything.
but i took that what colour is your brain quiz last week
and now i totally understand!

my mind goes off in its own fantasy world.
making things up, adding and creating details, scenarios, situations
that have never existed, or that have no reason to exist
except in my imagination.