i know i should be happy for him.. for finally getting outta this hellhole after five freakin years.. but i just cant let go.. its so selfish.. but its kinda the only good thing thats been keeping me there.. im not particularly close to him, and we hardly ever have anything to say to each other.. just awkward silences.. but i feel this attachment to him.. he's someone i look up to.. and he looks out for me.. wat am i gonna do now? how do i keep going back there without thinking about it and wanting to cry all the time..