halfway.

i let myself go.
but only halfway.

i came home and sat on my bed.
looked at my phone.
sent a few messages.

then nothing.

and then i felt it.
rising up in me.
overwhelming.

and it just poured out.
poured and poured.

then i tried to stop.
tried to stop myself.
tried to control it.

but there was still more.
lots more.

but i was trying to stop myself.
and yet i needed to do it.
internal conflict.

i dont know what happened after.
but maybe im not done yet.
i might need to do it again later.

maybe.
i might try.
or maybe not.