what am i doing?

i dont know what im looking for.
something.
anything.
i think i just need to know that im not
doing this all on my own.
but so it seems..
the deeper i dig, the harder i push.

you simply cannot squeeze water out of a stone.

i have come to terms with that fact;
that the cheese has turned into stone.
it has turned hard and unforgiving.
hurtful. dried out.
there is no working with the stone;
it will not work.

it will not give me what i want.
i either have to learn to work around it, to use it,
or else i have to throw it into the sea.
not for it to rehydrate, for a stone is not a sponge.

but to never look at it again.