today

today was bad.
so what if its only just past 7pm.
its already bad.

first of all, went to sleep hungry last night.
not only hungry, but extremely sad.
and upset. with myself mostly.
thinking a lot.
of so many things at once, you cant actually say for sure what you are thinking about.
its hard to sleep like that.
even when your body is so tired and achy.

didnt sleep well. strange dreams. hmmm.
involving some driving, a lot of rain, some accidents and a lot of chaos.
and my ex driving instructor? haha. the fierce ah beng boxer one.
and nicole from borders. weird.

woke up feeling the same way i felt when i went to sleep.
which is a shit start of a day, really.
my sis came home, and darren was over for lunch.
watched some part of the ndp together during and after lunch.
was funny. haha. plus their comments are so funny!
cheered up some, felt a bit more normal.

then things became so quiet i almost went berserk.
i just wanted to get out of the house.
do something. anything to get my mind to stop thinking, to stop wondering.
just didnt know what to do.
ended up watching some mindless tv, and here i am now.

still dont know what to do.
and it is barely 7.30pm.

but i am okay.
i am always okay.