im so totally tired i want to collapse.
of course i cannot beat uma man, she was up 2 nights in a row!
but i have been sleeping something like 2 to 4 hours a day since monday.
last night tried to do my mad mask journal, fell asleep at 3.
and at 5 i was up again trying to get my brain to bloody wake the hell up!
its hard i tell you. all i can think of is sleep.

going to be worse today, cos this journal, i have no idea what to put into it.
gonna be totally empty man, shit.
and even if i screw it and just hand it in late, which is monday, i cant!
cos i have an essay due on monday as well!
which i have no research for.
great.

and then on tuesday, monday night rather, my friend is coming down to visit me and hes going to stay at my place for like a month!
like gimme a break lah please!
think people no need to rest after assignments are finished ah?
then the best thing, this one scared to be in a foreign country alone.
scared then stay at home lah! cannot expect me to follow you and bring you around everywhere right.
for a whole month somemore! i have to get a life also right, try to find a freaking job. i cant be wasting a month letting someone tag along behind me for all eternity.
plus i'll get very frustrated. you know, sometimes you just wanna be left alone so you can do your own thing without having to explain or inform someone about what youre doing?? think i'll get so suffocated i'll be so bloody cranky.
so uma and jess this is a warning okay. im already cranky thinking about it.
ugh.

anyway, the weirdest night yesterday.
i met a pilot on tuesday, and he wanted to come to my exhibition opening which was last night. and he came along for the film screenings as well lah.
thing is, its strange cos i hardly know the guy, and suddenly theres this person here who i have to look after, make sure he isnt lost or lonely, or left out or whatever.
which so cramping my style man. i hate doing this kinda thing. hate hosting.
this was supposed to be a simple night. just go the the exhibition opening, look at everyone's work, talk to some friends, then jump over to check out the film installation stuff, then go to the linear film screenings, and possibly leave early to get home and do some work.
but no.
i beg your pardon.
but NOOOOOOOO.
i have a half drunk girl clinging on my arm half the time asking weird questions (who's jarrod? what does he look like? where are you going?) and insisting she's fine.
then there's our lost norwegian friend (the pilot) who cant help but follow me around cos he has no idea what to do, where to go etc etc. thank god for joe who at least kept him company half the time when i simply needed to disappear.
then there's cranky uma who's getting frustrated by everybody and frankly i dont blame her man. however, i do blame her for suddenly shouting to some person in the foyer asking him if he recognises me.
and there's also the french guy who was in my central australia trip group of people who i bumped into at the film installations. (this is apparently the guy uma shouted at. although i still say that he turned and looked at her cos she was shouting, not cos he recognised me.)

what a night it was i tell you.

shit, im falling asleep now and i keep making typos..
and im supposed to be doing some research for my work.
how am i gonna stay up later?!
im dead.